It’s Not How You Say It, It’s What You’re Saying

Natasha Stone

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It


It’s Not How You Say It, It’s What You’re Saying!

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellectual upon art.” Susan Sontag

Whether we say it or write it, our words and the way our words are interpreted matter to someone, if not to ourselves.

We can’t hold people hostage to our rantings if what we are saying is not something they can identify with or are interested in, and yet, we’ve all been guilty of talking about something another person has no interest in because we are either failing to see that other people are not interested in a particular subject matter, or maybe we are too caught up in whatever merit we believe our verbal diarrhea will generate.

We all have an ego, and just because we may discover through serendipity or otherwise that we don’t agree with each other on everything, it does not mean that I am troubled and that you are brilliant.

It might mean that you are wrong, and even if you assume that I will say that you are wrong, because you assume I think I am brilliant and will say so, then what difference will it make to me either way which way I respond?

Do we really wish to win an argument based on the argument that we are betting that there will be an argument?

Yet people do this all the time in all places; we can’t solve a problem so we take the easy way out and attack people for not agreeing with us. I’m in fact doing it now to demonstrate my displeasure at people who do this, but will it get my message across, or do I need to adopt a new modus operandi or perhaps modify, amend or change the message which I am desiring to communicate?

It is challenging, no easy task at all, to be who we are and say what we want. We do one thing by changing our style and then we risk diluting our message. It is a precarious dynamic to grapple with, that much is evident.

Not all of us are going to like each other for whatever reason and sometimes it is because of our style, and other times it is because of our message.

Sometimes it is because of how we are coming across. We might have a tone, manner or style which just isn’t agreeable with whoever it is we are trying to communicate with. That is just who we are and how we come across and nothing will change until we desire or are committed to change. 

Wrapping this dialogue up, I am suggesting that sometimes it might be our style which people don’t like for whatever reason, or they may like our style but not our message, or they might like our message but not a particular style with that message. The bottom-line is really it is up to us whether or not we care enough to be honest or not honest about who we really are and what we really mean. Because, at the end of the day, we are the ones who have to be happy enough or miserable enough to choose to live with our decisions of style over substance or vice versa irrespective of anyone else chastising us.

Natasha Stone