Silence of the Cunts

Silence of the Cunts.

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Cat: Balls. Not even considered profanity. Common usage of the English language.

Bex: Don’t forget DICK! It’s a term of endearment for Richard. How the fuck anyone came up with DICK out of Richard is anyone’s guess.

Cat: I would not even bring that up around a bunch of fancy pants academics – they would be all up in DICK and its origins.

Bex: Completely. Linguistic dick gobbling academics love that shit.

Cat: Aye. That they do. They came up with a very distinguished way of saying DICK in a very mentally excruciating manner.

Bex: And our vagina gets called what? A fanny.

Cat: A bum-bag Bex. Our vagina is a bum-bag.

Bex: Fucked isn’t it?

Cat: You can go to the shops and ask for and buy balls in any size – cricket balls, tennis balls, footballs, ping-pong balls. Mothers will take their little kids and throw them into a pit full of balls. Balls, balls, balls.

Bex: That’s a lot of balls. Balls get passed around, balls get kicked, and nations revere balls. They even have professional ball players! You can make a career around ball handling. People will pay to see a bunch of dudes kicking balls and passing balls around.

Cat: There’s big bucks in balls. Let’s not forget you write with a ball point pen. There is no escaping balls at Yoga either.

Bex: Even a doctor will prescribe a ball to sit on. Everybody touches balls and accepts them.

Cat: A CUNT on the other hand is the worst profanity one can use. When someone says the word cunt it’s usually regarded as an aggressive word. If you hate someone you call them a CUNT. People cringe when the ‘C word’ is used – it’s like a weapon of mass destruction.

Bex: Kids get sent to the Principal’s office and parents will get called in because little John or Jill said the word CUNT.

Cat: It’s a mystery to me.  All life begins somewhere in the CUNT. Life is not created in your nostrils, your ears, your mouth or your anus. It’s in the CUNT. When a Dick enters CUNT it goes to heaven. So CUNTS are holy too.

Bex: CUNTS deserve to be just as validated as a fucking hand-ball.

Cat: Or a marble.

Bex: Or a soccer ball.

Cat: Basketball, jelly ball, sour ball, bath-salt ball..

Bex: Respect the power of the Cunt, really, well and truly.

Cat: I cunt argue with that.

Bex: Abso-cunto-lutely

Bex: That’s cuntastic.

Cat: Super-cunty-fragilistic-expi-ali-docious!

Bex: Vagina, mangina.

Cat: Vagimite!

Bex: Vagimite!

Cat: Breakfast, lunch and dinner.